Balancing Testosterone and Grey Matter

A Kadir Jasin

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AFTER my “Not A Very Clever Gurindam” and the lengthy Mini Budget postings, I think you and I are entitled to a respite.

So while waiting to the Deputy Prime Minister cum Minister of Finance, Mohd Najib Abdul Razak, to spell out his RM10-billion Mini Budget this Tuesday, we shall not talk about our deep emotional traumas and even deeper holes in out pockets.

Political and economic turmoil is taking tolls on all of us. Hopefully, an efficient and cost effective implementation of the package will avert the recession and make our lives less miserable.

So for this posting we shall talk about testosterone, yes, tes-tos-terone.

Now don’t get me wrong. I am not getting all charged up and ready to roll. At my age, any rolling that I do is, inevitably, downhill.

The testosterone I am talking about, however, has something to do with the “koro” syndrome we talked about in the June 17, 2008 posting.

Yes, most of us tend to relate this noble, versatile hormone to sexuality, manliness and manhood. In short it’s about libido or “mojo” according to fictional British secret agent Austin Powers.

That’s not incorrect. Testosterone is a male sex hormone.

My doctor agrees fully with the literary description that testosterone is “the most important male sex hormone.”

One such literature I read says testosterone is responsible for a boy’s development into a man during puberty and is necessary throughout his life for maintaining health and quality of life.

As the name suggests, testosterone is produced in the testes (or by the testes). From there it gets into the blood system and reaches its target organs – yes, organs.

Testosterone not only stimulates men’s sexual desire. It also acts and affects a whole spectrum of organs and activities.

In fact, for an Afghan man to be a true Taliban, he has to have the correct amount of testosterone otherwise his facial hair will not grow normally. What is a Taliban without facial hair?

And to win a war, he has to be positive. Again he need testosterone as the hormone is important for mental balance and for prevention of negative moods.

And what good is Arnold Schwarzenegger without those gigantic muscles and growling voice? Without testosterone he won’t have those muscles and threatening voice.

According to pamphlet from Bayer, the giant German pharmaceutical company, the following are examples of testosterone’s functions:-

1. Voice – responsible for the voice breaking and for the man’s voice to be deep;

2. Skin and hair – responsible for the formation of the typical male hair over the whole body, and for maintaining it, and especially for the growth of the beard. (It’s here the Taliban comes in);

3. Bones – building and maintaining healthy bone structure;

4. Blood – assists the formation of the red blood cells and consequently for the transportation of oxygen in the blood;

5. Muscle – forming and maintaining strong muscles (Arnold Schwarzenegger comes in);

6. Mind – important for mental balance and for preventing negative moods. It is also responsible for memory, orientation, coordination and concentration;

7. Sexuality – regulates the desire for sex and for a large number of sexual functions; and

8. Physics – responsible for male physique.

But whether one is Taliban or Arnold Schwarzenegger, old age and illnesses reduce the production of testosterone resulting in diminished libido and, in the case of Austin Powers, “mojo”.

It also causes erectile dysfunction, muscle atrophy, increase in body fat, feelings of depression and ill temper, anemia and osteoporosis.

That explains why some older people are ill tempered and grumpy.

Don’t despair. Modern medicine and health care have the answers. It costs money of course. Personally, I believe that healthy lifestyle and a lot of ulam-ulam kampung are as good as pills and hormone injections.

What does all this teach us then? For me it is yet another example of the miracle of creation --- that two small inconspicuous organs the size of a large marble produce such an important hormone.

Yes, no hidden meaning and no hidden agenda here. There’s no need to read in between the line.

I am not alluding or accusing anybody of lacking testicular gumption or fortitude due to testosterone deficiency.

With our politicians challenging and taking each other to courts almost on the daily basis, I am sure none suffers from the infliction.

On the contrary, I think they are well on the top of things in as far as testosterone is concerned. All that they need is to balance it with the production of the grey matter.