Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Funny But Not So Laughable Stories

A Kadir Jasin

[Please take note, ANONYMOUS comments with not be entertained. When commenting, your real identity is preferred. But a suitable pseudonym is accepted. If you have to use anonymous, please print your name or pen name at the bottom of your message. Please avoid seditious, defamatory and libelous statements. Unrelated comments will not be given priority.]

LET’S take a break from the stomach churning political and heart burning economic debates and talk about the lighter, funnier things in life.

Funny not in the sense that they make us laugh, but because they are out of the ordinary.

Take for instance a newspaper report today that a massive 20,000-strong funeral is being planned in Taiwan for a 73-year old underground boss Lee Chaohsiung who died of cancer. Counting among the would-be funeral criers are politicians and former diplomats.

It seems that Lee was forgiven and even revered because he made a T$60-million (RM6-million) donations to humanitarian and religious causes out of his ill-gotten wealth.

The moral of the story is, somewhere in the world, you can be a crook, a corrupt and a ruffian but if you make a fortune and share some of the loots with the suckers of the society, you are forgiven and revered.

Funny though, the same jurisdiction (Taiwan is not recognised as a sovereign nation) in 2004 imposed a life sentence and a fine of US$15.2 million on its former President Chen Shui-bian and his wife, Wu Shu-chen, for corruption.

I wonder if the leaders of the notorious Hai San and Gee Hin secret societies, who terrorised Northern Malaya in the early 19th century were given the same last farewells.

The Hai San is said to have its origins in Southern China, was established in Penang around 1820 and was led by Low Ah Chong and Ho Ah Kow.

It was involved in the Larut Wars (1862-1873) when miners who were members of the Hai San fought miners allied to the Gee Hin society over the tin-rich fields of Kelian Pauh and Kelian Baru. They also clashed in Selangor.

Today, the Chinese underworld figures still control much of the country’s billion ringgit drug trade and smuggling, prostitution, illegal gambling, human trafficking and illegal wildlife trade. The Malays and Indians are amateurs in comparison.

A notorious international wildlife trafficker Anson Wong who was arrested in Mexico in 1998 and later extradited to the US is a Malaysian. He was extradited to the US three years later where he was charged and sentenced to 71 months’ jail.

Then there was the news of a notorious Australian gangster, Carl Williams, 39, being bashed to death in Melbourne prison by another inmate. He was serving a 35-year term after confessing to the killing of three underworld rivals.

In Malaysia we heard of trespassers being run over by trains. But in the outskirt of the Indonesian capital, Jakarta, two trespassers on a motorcycle were mowed to death by a light aircraft when they crossed the runway.

Back in the seventies, cows, buffaloes and goats still grazed freely in the compound of rural airports in Malaysia.

In Velletta, the capital of Malta, Pope Benedict the 16th reportedly wept when he met Maltese victims of the pedophile priests. This is certainly not funny because clergy is supposed to guide and protect the flock.

Pedophilia (or paedophilia) is a psychological disorder in which an adult or older adolescent experiences a sexual preference for young children.

In Wellington, New Zealand, a father who left his 18-month-old son in a car while he enjoyed a 40-minute “fulfillment” at a strip club was fined NZ$200 (RM464) by the court.

In Malaysia, there had been cases of babies being left to die in locked motorcars by their irresponsible moms or dads. Many more die being locked inside houses during fires.

Malaysia has become so unsafe or the people are feeling a mortal sense of insecurity that “ungated” open housing estates are being illegally barricaded with the local authorities looking the other way.

I appeal Home Minister to leave the comfort of his well-guarded office and venture into the housing estates in and around Kuala Lumpur to see how the terrified residents are barricading themselves (illegally) behind checkpoints and barbed wires.

I noticed that Home Minister has police outriders. So he should be safe visiting these unsafe places. Pardon me sir, if I see wrong about the outriders.

And in Singapore, Anpazhakan Raghavan, 42, was reported to have done a Mike Tyson on one Ramachandran Sitarencan, 40, by biting off part of his ear.

Not only did he chewed off Ramachandran left ear, he also dated the latter’s estranged wife, Magesh Eyamalai, 28. The court did not find his antics amusing so it sentenced him to seven years corrective training and eight strokes of the cane.

The moral of the story is, you can’t have a man’s (estranged) wife and chewed off his ear at the same time.

51 comments:

d'enricher said...

Dato,

Manusia macam tu la, bila masa dapat duit, dia bukan kira.

Yang jadi masaalahnya, kita ada undang undang tak, kalau ada orang yang dapat harta dari cara yang salah terutama sekali cara mafia ke, along ke, harta mereka dirampas.

Saya rasa ini termasuk la semua Penjawat Awam yang mana kaya raya tapi cara tak betul tu.

Keluar dari tajuk sikit, nak cerita pasal harimau la untuk Dato' dan peminat Blog ini. Kita sekarang ni sedang dalam Tiger Blogfest 2010, untuk menyelamatkan Pak Belang kita yang tinggal lebih kurang 500 'in the wild'. Malaysia adalah salah satu dari 13 Negara yang masih ada Harimau di hutan, tapi bukan saya yang kira.

Apa kata Dato' cerita pasa Harimau, boleh ke.

Salam.

amoker said...

Yeah, the ministers have outriders and can speed all they want.

Ironically, the 'data' shows that the crime have decreased by 19%. Kudos to 1Malaysia.

A friend just said that she was impressed with the latest gadget that the police have. Just look at the car and motorbikes, yet are we really safe?

Bung Mokhtar have polygamy without consent and Zaid was bashed due to his drinking past. Another irony.

zainal abidin awang kechik said...

macam nana kita tengok gotfaher macam tu la malaya ni..salam tok

umar said...

No wonder only chinese accountants are employed by chinese firms. Non-chinese are mostly despatch and drivers. You don't need chinese language to do accounting, audit etc. Still in underworld !

pengkaji said...

Dato

Orang dewasa akan tertawa kecil bila membaca berita berita begini tetapi anak anak akan tercengang kehairanan.

kenapa ya ? boleh ke ? tak salah ke ?

itu tanya mereka.

ab said...

Salam Dato,


Funny, but also laughable ialah ramai kata Tun Dr Mahathir,Tun Daim,Tan Sri Mohamad Rahmat tu BILIONAIRES....tapi pasai apa sampai sekarang ni tak pernah
nama depa termasuk dalam senarai
bilionaires dunia ka, asia ka, malaysia ka??.


Kalau betui tentu `frust menonggeng' depa semua...TAK DAPAT
nikmati sepenuhnya`kekayaan' tersebut...DAH TU NAK FARAID macamana pulak? NAk hibah lagi teruk,buat sipolan tu BUKA MULUT lagi haru....

KALU proxy nama orang,lepas mati tuan empunya proxyman lompat sakan laa!!

SAYA fikir itu cerita kedai kopi
saja kot....LAUGHABLE!

Kalau betui, mesti ada baik depa belanja rakyat melayu macam yang dibuat olih gangster kat taiwan tu....bab cerita dunia OK la kut...ramai yang MAKAN duit haram ni, bab cerita bawah tanah 6 kaki tu,entah laa, teruk laa kena balun
siang malam,...lagi teruk kalau hari kiamat lambat datang lagi....BOLIH KA DOA ANAK_ANAK YANG SOLIH tolong depa ni heh?..buat pulak anak anak depa ni pun makan-minum duit haram ni.....




TAPI DATO' bolih tak cerita kisah-kisah gembira masa zaman saham `pink form' dulu, saya yakin ramai dikalangan generasi Dato yang sedang senang lenang dari skim cepat kaya dan instantly becoming very rich ni... cerita laa sikit tok, boring laa kesah politik saja sana sini sekarang ni!......

DSAI tu dulunya tokey `'pinkform ka?


Abu Bakar Ab Rahman

Anonymous said...

Amoker,

Are you a Moslem?

Your statement shows that you are a bit confused about polygamy and drinking.

Pak Tua

non_smoker said...

and yet a lot of people still believe on Anwar Ibrahim's nonsense. that's the best jokes of the century

Fikir Tajam said...

BN PERLU FOKUS MASALAH SEBENAR MASYARAKAT HULU SELANGOR... TABIAT MABUK CALON PKR LANGSUNG TAK SIGNIFIKAN...

Salam Datuk AKJ,

Jika diambil kira pandangan dan saranan DS Najib agar para pembesar perlu mendengar denyut nadi rakyat ternyata apa yang dilaungkan tak sepadan dengan apa yg dibuat. Denyut nadi majoriti masyarakat Hulu Selangor tidak dipeduli. Kenapa mesti terikat dengan sistem agihan kerusi cara lama yg konvensional itu... atas dasar 1Malaysia? Percaturan politik yg kerap kali bermain tarik tali antara parti komponen BN dalam soal agihan kerusi ternyata menzahirkan kebobrokan sistem 'gula-gula' supaya masing-masing senyap.

Sebenarnya sebagai sebuah parti yg menjadi tonggak pemerintahan semenjak sekian lama jelas menunjukkan betapa signifikannya parti ini. Konsep kepelbagaian dalam satu payung BN (14 buah parti komponen) amat realisitk dan demokratik. Hinggakan parti yg mewakili golongan minoriti pun bisa punya wakil untuk bersuara membela nasib mereka. Keadaan ini tak mungkin terjadi pada sistem 2 parti yg sebok dilaungkan oleh pembangkang itu (saya sengaja tak sebut pakatan rakyat lantaran ianya bukan sebuah entiti berdaftar malah tak berlogo sekalipun!).

Sayangnya sistem dan pendekatan konsensus gaya lama tak bisa memenuhi tuntutan nurani masyarakat majoriti yg mendiami sesuatu kawasan. Ini disebabkan hanya yg memikul tahu merasa beratnya. Tidakkah selama ini kita amalkan wakil kaum sebagai jurubicara etnik mereka? Kenapa tidak diadaptasikan amalan ini dalam aspek agihan kerusi? Kaedah mengorbankan aspirasi khalayak majoriti ternyata suatu tindakan yg memakan diri. Kita mesti realistik sebagaimana kita cukup realistik dalam menerima hakikat bahawa ada 14 buah parti komponan BN yg mewakili nurani kelompok masing-masing. Yg lebih arif akan keperluan dan desakan/himpitan hidup masyarakat di seputar mereka yg bergelar wakil rakyat itu. Meliputi aspek budaya, sosial dan ruang lingkup minda masyarakatnya.

Justeru dengan meletakkan calon bukan favorit denyutan nadi majoriti bagai mempertaruh judi. Ini bukan soal semangat 1Malaysia yg masih kabur itu tetapi aspirasi dan suara majoriti yg mendenyut nadi di sesuatu kawasan mengundi.

Ternyata dengan memekikkan peribadi onar lawan tak bisa mengubah nasib Mak Siti, Pak Ngah dan Kak Laily. Mereka hanya mahu rintihan mereka didengari. Riak air di kali kesempitan hidup mereka siapa peduli?

MIC tak usah melolong bagaikan dipolong. Ini nasib para petani yg perlu didekati bukan sekadar wakil anda tegak berdiri dipilih jadi calon bagai kena loteri. Rakyat didahulukan. Apakah hak majoriti disanggahkan? Tak ke mana 1Malaysia ini andai masing-masing parti asyik sebok mengaut untung isi tembolok kantung sendiri.

Apa signifikannya tabiat buruk calon lawan dengan nasib para petani. Apa ada pada Zaid yg kita asyik terlolong membuka pekung? Bukankah ada baiknya kita fokuskan pada denyut nadi majoriti yg mahu suara hati mereka didengari? Meskipun Tionghua dan Tamil minoriti kebajikan mereka kita jagai penuh teliti.

ting tong guy said...

Dear Dato'

Nothing is funnier than being caught with your pants down in a xxx smut clips.

Just admit, apologized and say u have repented. Bring the wife along.

The next thing u know is that, u have become the no 1 man of a legitimate society thru some political process.

All common senses have gone down the drain...even Tiger Woods still fell remorse about being in such a compromised position. Elin still could not not accept Mr. Tiger's roaring transgressions and this is in land of the Americans!!!!!.....actually ours is funnier than Taiwan and Tiger put together...enuff said.

langitbiru said...

Assalamualaikum Dato’

Saya agak musykil mengapa Dato’ tidak menulis perkembangan PRK Hulu Selangor? Ya, itu hak Dato’. Bukan hak menulis di blog The Scribe yang saya musykilkan, tetapi pemikiran Dato’ yang cuba “menjauhi” Hulu Selangor.MENGAPA?

Saban 3-4 hari, apakah Dacing masih sama tinggi kiri dan kanan? Apa lapuran SBs-SBs politik? Media UMNOBN menyatakan hari ke hari rating Kamalanathan, (Kamal, Alan, Nathan) semakin baik,semakin tinggi. TAPI SBS-SBS nampaknya pening dengan penangan Zaid. Dah berkira-kira nak turunkan KOR- 10??

Maka bertanyalah akan SBs kpd pengundi Cina yang dulu-dulunya AMAT sinonim dengan MCA. Dijawab, Apa itu MCA, kita sudah ta tak mau itu MCA, CINA BUTA saja mau undi itu Soi Lek Sex punya parti! Waa malu ooo…

Dijawab pengundi India yang dulu dulu taksub dengan “Tuhan Samy”, Apa itu MIC, “ Tuhan Samy” pun sudah sembah punggung UMNO,piiirah!! Itu Kamalanathan……ayoyo, dia India ke badut UMNO?

Poster gergasi Anwar, Pengkhianat Negara, dah tiada. Tiada seorang pun pemuda UMNO HS membantah poster diturunkan, tak dak “teloq” ke?. Pemuda UMNO HS juga membisu, berdiam diri, dek kerana peruntukan “wahyu” tak sampai ke kawasan, Jeneral-Jeneral Perang kata “wahyu” UMNO Malaysia sendiri turun padang.

Selalunya, satu-satu cawangan dapatlah peruntukan antara belasan ribu untuk buat kerja-kerja, TAPI langsung dipulun oleh PUSAT, meloponglah yang dibawah tu!!!

Antara adegan adegan dalam mana-mana PRK adalah cerita lompat parti, umum masuk parti,bubar cawagan. Bila ditanya TIMING cukup ideal, nafilah mereka ni sekeras-kerasnya TIADA kaitan dengan pilihanraya…….eemmmm skrip lama juga dok bawak!!!

Dr Halili? Saya ucapkan selamat jalan kepadanya. Beliau banyak berjasa kpd PKR. 2 kali jadi calun dalam PRU 1999,2004, tapi tak ada rezeki. Namanya naik lagi senarai pendek PKR. Bersama nama Dr.Badrul Amin. Namun strategis PKR tiba-tiba tercium bau minyak wangi UMNO di badan Halili. Atas keraguan itu, Zaid dipilih. Dr.Badrul Amin tarik diri. Halili seorang yang baik,banyak berjasa. Tapi mungkin dia juga sudah penat, jemu. Rasa dah tak larat nak lawan pihak lawan, angkat bendera putih paling tadah masuk pihak lawan. Nak sebut “Lawan tetap lawan” dgn suara keras dah tak serasi, lebih senang sebut “UMNO kini dan selamanya” dgn suara manja dalam kelambu, jadi selamat jalan semoga bahagia! Nak cari pejuang tulen bukan mudah……!

Pembersihan dalam PKR? Kalau PKR sendiri bersihkan badan, digunakan sabun Dettol. Mungkin mandi air bunga, air herba nak manambahkan segar dan seri. Akhirnya, bersih berseri-seri.

TAPI kalau UMNO tolong bersihkan PKR, paling kurang UMNO guna asid cuka getah. Pembersih paling ampuh UMNOBN datangnya dari Kewangan Dan Perbendaharaan Negara. Nah, ini dia pembersih Bazooka Penaka, sinar kuprumnya menembusi mata,hati, otak sebelum belerangnya meledak hancur lebur seluruh badan. Ini masalah besar PKR, ramai ahlinya tak mampu menahan tembakan Bazooka Penaka!!!

Apapun, ITULAH UJIAN,CABARAN DAN TEKANAN. Nak berjaya, kena uji dulu, kena berani sahut cabaran, kena kental hadapi tekanan. (Itu semua UMNO tak hadapi) Kalau berjaya menahan Bazooka Penaka, InsyaAllah PKR jadi semakin kuat dan gagah.

Saya optimis, Zaid menang! Kesian UMNOBN!

samurai melayu said...

Salam Kasih dan Sayang
Datuk AKJ
Izinkan,

As we had mentioned in your earlier post...DALAM KETAWA ADA TANGISAN'

Btw, you left out another business of the Chinese underworld...
MONEY LAUNDERING!

Thank you for giving us the break..Laughter is still the best medicine..HE HE HE...SOB!

ALFATIHAH, AMIN.

Mustapha Ong said...

Salam Dato

Your comments are hilarious but perhaps the timing is not right this week. I am saying this cos Hulu Selangor by-election is getting hotter by the day.It's between Zaid and Kamal and Anwar is the giat observer. The other two pretenders had opted out.(not sure whether it was a political buy-out). Well I am optimistic that BN will win the seat with at 1,500 majority.Shall we bet a ringgit who takes the seat?

saji said...

Dato'

Meskipun PM pertama orang UMNO yang melesenkan dan merasmikan kilang arak pertama di negara ini, tetapi di kalangan tukang kempen UMNO di PRK US, yang lebih berdosa ialah umat Islam yang meminumnya.

Thibbs_kid said...

Dato'

Apa istimewa sgt Menteri2 ni dpt outrider? Dah la road tax, insurance, minyak dibyr dgn duit rakyat, (kereta pun kereta kerajaan), lepas tu jalan pun nak special ke?

Kita ni rakyat biasa yang kerja mcm kuli nak sara hidup keluarga, bila Menteri lalu, kena ketepi sampai nak langgar divider. Jika tidak, outrider ni akan berlagak mcm samseng sambil menjerit suruh pemandu ke tepi.

These Ministers do not know a jack-s**t about KL morning and evening rush hour (esp when it starts raining), that some of us have to leave our homes after subuh to avoid the traffic jam and sometimes in the evening, reached home at 9.00pm.

MegaPena said...

Well, if you come across the younger cockerel chasing after the older cockerel in the farm nearby, do not simply assumed that they are gay. Actually the two is competing in the race, whereby the winner will have a right to monitor the whole chickens at the farm. Unfortunately the farmer misunderstood, thought the younger one is gay, so he blast off the younger one with his gun. What a waste.

Yangretibase said...

Assalamualaikum DAKJ,

The funniest and the most laughable story of the year would be BN's Kamal Alan Nathan's defeat in the Hulu Selangor by-election.

I'm definitely sure of Haji Zaid Ibrahim's victory.
Wassalam.

Anonymous said...

The Home Minister has police outriders??? I thought that privilege was reserved for Sultans, PM, DPM and visiting dignitaries...of course the occasional Chinese towkay funeral will also get police outrider escort...but that's public service...so if the Home Minister gets police escort does that mean that other Ministers too can get that privilege?...What next? commando escort ? MP outriders for the defence minister?

FLANKER

pakbelalang said...

I wonder whether Chin Peng will get the same funeral treatment like Taiwan's 73-year old underground boss Lee Chaohsiung after terrorising our country and killing innocent people including my two uncles?

amarneng said...

Salam Dato,

Suasana dan demam pilihanraya d bandar Sibu masih belum ketara. Kedua-dua pihak BN dan Pembangkang masih membuat perhitungan calon ayam sabong masing-masing yang bakal di turunkan ke gelanggang.

Bagi kelompok BN memang sudah bergerak,biasanyalah BN tetap terus berkhdmat apatahlagi semasa hendak musim pilihanraya.

Sempena lawatan Timbalan Perdana Menteri Muhyiddin Yassin ke Sibu,Pulau Bruit,Beladin dan Kuching,telah menjanjikan berpuluh-puluh juta ringgit untuk warga Pulau Bruit dan Beladin yang merupakan kawasan pesisir miskin di Sarawak.

Setidak-tidaknya sempena lawatan TPM itu turut membawa rahmat dan membasahkan sedikit tekak kehausan pembangunan warga kawasan berkenaan.

Tidak dinafikan kawasan yang dilawati oleh TPM itu hampir 70 peratus warganya dibawah miskin tegar,diharapkan dalam RMK tahun depan nasib mereka akan terbela dan pada masa yang sama dijangka pilihanraya DUN Sarawak akan di adakan.

Dato,

Apakah pendapat dato mengenai thomahan yang mana BN akan menabur projek berjuta-juta ketika musim pilihanraya ....?Adakah itu sebagai satu trend BN atau secara kebetulan sahaja...Jika ia sebagai satu trend,adakah ia menjadi kesalahan ? Dan apabila ia menjadi satu tanggungjawab sebagai parti yang memerintah mengapa ia tidak diterima secara terbuka,kerana semua parti yang berjuang memperjuangkan nasib rakyat dan membangunkan negara sudah sewajarnya melaksanakan tanggungjawab itu.

Di bandar Sibu, orang melayu/melanau adalah pengundi dan penduduk minoriti.Setiap kali pilihanraya orang melayu/melanau/Dayak menjadi tumpuan BN kerana undi mereka adalah penentu kemenangan. Yang anehnya pula tak sampai 50 peratus orang cina dan pengundi cina menyokong calon cina mereka,sedangkan wakil rakyat mereka (SUPP)lebih banyak menumpukan perhatian terhadap kebajikan kaum Cina.

Pengundi cina,sering menyifatkan pengundi melayu bodoh kerana masih terus mengundi calon BN,yang menghairankan ialah sifat pengundi cina,mereka mahu lebih banyak keuntungan dan keselesaan dari BN tetapi tidak menyokong BN.

Sikap dan bijak politik masyarakat Cina di Sibu terutama foochow barangkali satu permainan politik mereka. Dalam masa yang sama mereka juga mahu menyingkirkan kaum melayu/melanau dari peta bandar Sibu.

Bandr Sibu yang dikenali sebagai bandar Taikon Balak tidak menjanjikan masa depan untuk orang Melayu/melanau.....? Sekian Amarneng.

Tinta Hitam said...

Datuk,

Good "santai" story.Your writing might look funny but if we think further we dont have any mood to laugh at all.Take for example gangsterism.Maybe the malays are amateur in this area but we are catching fast.Now its is a trend among malay yyoungster to aligned themselves with malay gangsters group such as PEKIDA,apache,gang 77etc so that they could bashed others at will.Just a matter of time figures like the deceased Taiwan mafia will emerged in our malay society.For your info those malays gangster are busy right now recruiting young boys as their henchmen.

Second let look about our Home Minister.Having outriders which as far as I know only reserved for Agong,Sultans,governors,PM and TPM is one issue that raised eyebrows.5though only Defence Minister Zahid Hamidi did that.Anyway I dont want to talk about it right now.Yang say anak ckp ialah sikap menteri menteri UMNO yan genggam turun kepadang dan melihat sendiri masalah rakyat.Kenyataan kenyataan akhabar mereka jelas menunjukkan mereka adalah out of touch dgn masyarakat.Kalau kita tanya Menteri KDN sejauh mana seriousnya keadaan jenayah Malaysia,pasti dia akan jawab tergagap gagap semua nya ok dan terkawal dan rakyat tak perlu bimbang.Yg "funny"nya pemimpin pemimpin UMNO sampai skg tergaru garu kepala pasai apa org melayu mula menolak mereka

pakbelalang said...

Malaysia has become so unsafe or the people are feeling a mortal sense of insecurity that “ungated” open housing estates are being illegally barricaded with the local authorities looking the other way.

I appeal Home Minister to leave the comfort of his well-guarded office and venture into the housing estates in and around Kuala Lumpur to see how the terrified residents are barricading themselves (illegally) behind checkpoints and barbed wires.

comment:

Hishammudin's KPI is GROUND ZERO. Make no mistake about it.

He made a mess in the Education Ministry. And now Ministry of Home Affairs. I tell you, wherever he goes his KPI will continue to be GROUND ZERO!!

He has done f**k all!!

Definition:

f**k all

noun
little or nothing at all; "I asked for a raise and they gave me bugger-all";

mawar said...

Salam DAKJ,

Lagi-lagi Langitbiru..syok sendiri...kalau nak analisa lihat kedua belah pihak. PKR betul ke dah kuat di Hulu Selangor..adakah yang keluar tu semuanya jahat dan telur busuk dalam PKR...yang saya nampak yang masih dok dalam tu yang busuk dan yang keluar tu yang dah sedar dan ada pendirian. Khalid Ibrahim pun keluar kalau tak ada kedudukan..Poster tumbang itu memang kerja jahat...begitu juga menyalahkan establishment itu dan ini kalau kalah. Saya di Lembah Kelang skrg ...melihat kedua-dua belah pihak...sama-sama kuat...kalau Zahid menang syukor dan kalau BN menang syabas..negara akan menuju ke era baru yang lebih mantap dan meyakinkan.

Masam Manis said...

"Malaysia has become so unsafe or the people are feeling a mortal sense of insecurity that “ungated” open housing estates are being illegally barricaded ..."

This scene is quite common in Jakarta not only at residential areas but also @ hotels, shopping malls, offices, some golf courses and eating places. In many ways we seems to be heading or rather following Indonesia. Wonder why??

Anonymous said...

"Funny But Not So Laughable Stories"

HULU SELANGOR, 21 April — Bekas setiausaha politik i Anwar Ibrahim akan membekalkan Barisan Nasional (BN) dokumen yang didakwanya boleh membuktikan Ketua Umum Pakatan Rakyat bersekongkol Israel, esok.

Ezam Mohd Noor akan menyerahkan dokumen-dokumen berkenaan, antaranya surat Anwar agar teman wanita bekas presiden Bank Dunia Paul D. Wolfowitz, Shaha Riza, dipinjamkan ke Foundation for the Future.

KALAU TAK ADA PILIHANTRAYA KECIL... ORANG LUPA PADA MALAON INI...kah kah kah..

TOLONG LAH HULUR PADA MALAON INI.... MENIAGA DI INDON TAK JALAN JALAN...kah kah kah...


man remos

Dadi said...

Salam DAKJ,
Memang betul Dato, kesian bayi yang tak berdosa tu.Dimanakah sifat belas kasihan dan perikemanusiaan.Apakah Malaysia telah dipenuhi dengan manusia durjana yang tidak berhati perut.Kalau difikirkan ngeri rasanya kita disini.Kadang nak keluaq bawa beg tangan pun takut,Tak bawak salah jugak,banyak barang nak diangkut.Silap haribulan semua kaput kena rentap dek mat rempit.
Tapi Dato,kalau dato berjalan kat area pasar seni sana tu,Tak taulah nak cakap,anak muda kita teruk2 dah.Yang lelaki bersubang,jean robeklah,Jalan tergedik2 , macam bergaya sangat.Meluat tengok, tapi taklah tengok tepat2 kat depa,cuma dok jeling2 aje ,curi2 tengok.Silap haribulan kena demah dgn depa ni , nayya kita ,mau patah tulang.
Apa dah jadi dengan masyarakat kita.Mana mak bapa depa ni.Tak kanlah tak check tengok seluar anak2 depa sampai terbiak dgn jeans koyak , rugged kononnya.Belum lagi tengok cara depa bercinta dijalanan,tak dak segan silu.Mak oiiii,kita naik malu.Kot2 nak bercinta pun berpadalah,jangan camtu.mak bapa jadi serba salah.nak bagi kahwin tak nak masa depan,tak bagi kahwin , lain pula jadi.Takkan nak ambil buat menantu budak terhengeh2 dengan seluar dan baju rugged tak tentu hala ,buat hantu bolehlah.SIAPA NAK DISALAHKAN.Kalu tengok macam ni tak heranlah bayi bertaburan dimerata longkang dan semak belantara.
Kita ibu bapa ni , kenalah banyak berdoa kpd ALLAH muga2 anak pinak kita dijauhkan dari gejala camtu.

samurai melayu said...

Salam Kasih dan Sayang
Datuk AKJ
Izinkan,
...
Malaysia has become so unsafe or the people are feeling a mortal sense of insecurity that “ungated” open housing estates are being illegally barricaded with the local authorities looking the other way.

Mohon maaf Datuk, hanya nak kongsi sikit petua kami 'pagar' rumah tanpa pagar mahu pun 'barricade'...

BISMILLAHIRRAHMANIRRAHIM
(Dengan nama Allah Swt Yang Maha Pengasih dan Penyayang)

AMAL DAN SEBATIKAN ZAT SEMPURNA (20) DAN ZAT SIFAT KASIH DAN SAYANG ALLAH SWT DALAM HIDUP HARIAN DAN SENTIASA MENYERAH SEGALA PUJI2AN SDAN KEJAYAAN KEPADA NYA..DENGAN SEPEHUH PENYERAHAN.

INSYALLAH, KITA DIRAHMATKAN DENGAN PEMBERIAN KEMENANGAN DAN DILINDUNGI DARI MUSIBAH..DENGAN SEPENUH KESYUKURAN

ALFATIHAH, AMIN.
Ps. Our home has been open gated for the last 30 years...dengan IZIN NYA..AMIN YAROBBAL ALAMIN.

Anonymous said...

Salam Dato'

kejap nak pikir, cerita orang jahat di Taiwan tu ada kaitan dgn cerita di Hulu Selangor.

SOKONG BAWA REBAH

A KADIR JASIN said...

Macam-macam ada

1. Sex guru Swami Nithyananda, who went into hiding after sordid video tapes featuring him and two Tamil film actresses surfaced last month, has been arrested in a remote village in India's northern state of Himachal Pradesh.

The self-styled 'godman' was arrested in a joint operation by police from the states of Himachal and Karnataka following a tip off on his hideout.

2. After the joy of a wedding and the adoption of a baby came arguments that couldn't be resolved, leading Angelique Naylor to file for divorce.

That left her fighting both the woman she married in Massachusetts and the state of Texas, which says a union granted in a U.S. state where same-sex marriage is legal can't be dissolved with a divorce in a state where it's not.

3. A Malaysian IT manager who broke the arm of another with a wooden pole in a Singapore road rage incident was sentenced to six months months' jail by a district court in the island republic Monday.

Tan Eng Heong, 47, an IT manager working in Singapore, was found guilty of causing grievous hurt to Chua Cheng Hai, 45.

Thank you

INDIGO said...

Scribe,
Salaams

Three Funny Stories
(local news bernama)

1. Bung Moktar Pleads Guilty To Polygamy Without Permission

2. Ahmad Zahid Loses Bid To Strike Out Suit

3. Thousands Of Slippers To 'Greet' Blair In Malaysia

But i ain't laughin'.

terima kasih

Wajasetia said...

"Penduduk kawasan tersebut tidak perlu khuatir kerana pihak kami telah mempertingkatkan kawalan....." ucapan skima dari pihak berkuasa selepas sesuatu jenayah berat berlaku. laugable? i guest not for the victims and their family.

pakbelalang said...

Lee Kuan Yew advised the mayor of Shanghai against taking the foot off the pedal when it comes to education and to continue beefing up its university graduate population.

comment:

This is what our government should do. Education is a passport to better living standard and higher productivity.

I think the govt. should be more aggressive in its education policy to ensure that we have enough educated people to boost for higher income bracket. There is no two way of enjoying life other than getting our family members to have good quality education.

I can observe how my kampong folks have changed their life for the better when their children are succesful in getting good education up to university level. I can see the contrast those family members who are unfortunate not being able to get their children to achieve higher education. They are still struggling to make ends meet without being able to get out from poverty.

pakbelalang said...

Thousands Of Slippers To 'Greet' Blair In Malaysia



PUTRAJAYA, April 21 (Bernama) -- Thousands of slippers are expected to 'greet' former British prime minister Tony Blair if he were to set foot in this country this week.

This is the promise made by the president of the Malay right-wing group, Pertubuhan Pribumi Perkasa Malaysia (PERKASA), Datuk Ibrahim Ali, who also opposed Blair's visit to this country.

comment:

Yes, I support PERKASA action. Mr Blair does not deserve to be greeted in our country. He had caused misery to the children and mothers of Iraqi people. Thousands of innocent people had been killed
by a liar of the first order.

Anonymous said...

Salam Datuk,

Teringat saya lagu dari kumpulan Bee Gees yang antara liriknya berbunyi: 'I started a joke that makes the whole world laughing... but the joke was on me'..

Sekarang ini sekali lagi the joke is on the Malays. Hulu Selangor kawasan majoritinya orang Melayu tetapi sekali lagi pucuk pimpinan (orang Melayu) bagi kat MIC. Puas sudah orang Melayu (baik dari Umno ataupun orang kebanyakan) merayu agar kawasan itu diserahkan balik kepada mereka (Umno) tapi tidak dipedulikan.

Maka seperti kebiasaannya orang Melayu akan bercakaran sesama sendiri (Umno vs Pas vs PKR)sehinggakan isu-isu yang tak begitu relevan dibangkitkan. Sumpah seranah, maki hamun, kata nista dan caci mencaci akan dijaja kehulu kehilir tanpa rasa bersalah sedikit pun sesama kita.

Cuma kesian sesangat kat orang Melayu ni apabila dalam diam-diam kaum Cina dapat sekolah, orang India dapat calon...orang kita cuma dapat dosa dan noda musim piliharaya.

Kalau beginilah mentaliti orang Melayu, maka ada baiknya jika bangsa lain yang memerintah negara kerana sudah terbukti orang kita hanya sesuai dijadikan badut sarkas yang hanya tahu membahagiakan orang lain walupun diri sendiri kecewa dan lara.

Mungkin Pulau Pinang dan Singapura boleh dijadikan sebagai satu tauladan buat kita semua.

Jimizul

sujini said...

Scribe,

Ada baca tak tentang :-

1. Suami simbah asid kepada isteri kerana isteri tidak mahu melayan permintaan suami ....... , dengan alasan sakit kepala?

2. Seorang penoreh getah membuat bom tangan. Akhirnya meletup di tangan sendiri dan membawa maut?

Kedua-dua kejadian di atas berlaku di Malaysia.
Malaysia Boleh!

pengundi Hulu Selangor said...

Dato,

kenapa mesti saya mengundi orang luar menjadi MP saya di HS ?

Inilah cerita yang agak lucu tapi tak kelakar bila Zaid Ibrahim menjadi calon PKR di Hulu Selangor

Kenapa calon PKR di HS mesti di impot dari Kelantan sedangkan di Kelantan dan Trenggnu sendiri calon PR sendiri terpaksa di impot dari luar pada PRU 2008.

Apakah ini bermakna tiada calon anak tempatan ( kelantan ) yang cukup bagus untuk diketengahkan di sana dan sekarang formula yang sama digunapakai di Hulu Selangor.

Kini, Zaid Ibrahim dari Kelantan yang juga tidak dicalonkan semasa PRU 2008 oleh Umno ( di gantung - sebab apa ?)di letak sebagai calon PKR di Hulu Selangor.


Ps - mintak maaf orang kelantan - saya tidak mengatakan semua tapi cuma mengutarakan hujah saya sebagai pengundi di Hulu Selangor.

Tentang kenapa calon impot di Kelantan, pemimpin PR sahaja yang boleh menjawabnya.

INDIGO said...

Scribe,
Salaams

Dengan Izin

Fikir Tajam, Langitbiru, Yangretibase, dan yang sehaluan
Salaams

The Best Laugh
(and no tears please)

I hope you guys will have the last laugh in P94. Ameeen.

While a rose is a rose and a Mawar is a sweet Mawar, I though love the story of Moses and his divine tongkat.

al quu ma jiktum bihi sihr

Salam Hormat, Scribe
dan Terima Kasih Ultra Malay

Wajasetia said...

"A fine of not more than RM1,000 for Pleads Guilty To Polygamy Without Permission"
- That was laughable

langitbiru said...

Salam Dato'

Alhamdulillah, saya sokong SANGAT-SANGAT UMNO BARU jaga,sedar,tahu minum arak haram,berdosa.

Saya juga sangat-sangat sokong UMNO BARU jaja seluruh pelusok HS dan Malaysia, peminum arak tak layak diangkat jadi pemimpin.

SEBAB, KALAU IKUT KRITERIA INILAH, BERAPA ORANG SANGAT KAH PEMBESAR UMNO YANG LAYAK?

Yang "Funny" nya, terfikir juga saya, bagaimana PEMINUM arak akan menjatuhkan hukuman MEMINUM arak?

.......Kartika jadi saksi!

langitbiru said...

Dato'AKJ,

Nak tanya,betul ke Kamalanathan terlibat bersama Pemuda MIC nak kalungkan selipar kpd Mahathir dulu?

(Kalaulah betul)Dan hari ni, UMNO ambil dia jadi calun?

alunbm said...

Najib: 1Malaysia lebih popular drpd Milo, KFC

Najib yang juga pengerusi Barisan Nasional berkata gagasan 1Malaysia mendapat sambutan yang menggalakkan daripada rakyat sehingga mengatasi jenama barangan popular yang lain.

"Gagasan 1Malaysia lebih popular daripada jenama seperti Milo,Kentucky fried chicken(KFC)... tak boleh lawan lencana dan logo 1Malaysia sebab ada orang suka makan ayam, ada yang tak suka TAPI IMalaysia semua orang SUKA" kata beliau.

Komen:Betui ka...ditempat saya tak dak pulak budak-budak terpekik terlolong menyebut 1Malaysia KALAU ia popular.Cerita lawak dari PM...

langitbiru said...

Salam Pak Belalang,

Awat marah sangat kat Hishamudin 1 (H1). Nanti Najib 1 (N1) terasa!

Home Minister @ outriders - dah ada feeling jadi PM! PM menunggu!

Kalau Menteri Amaran jadi PM, sana sini amaran menjadi-jadi, TAPI tak ada tindakan.

Apa cerita "third force" dalam PDRM? Musa Hassan yang habaq tu mesti la betui! Sapa dia?

pakbelalang said...

Education System Needs Frequent Review: Mahathir

SERI ISKANDAR, April 22 (Bernama) -- Former prime minister Tun Dr Mahathir Mohamed said the education system needs to be reviewed by including elements on the students' character and wisdom.

He said such reviews were necessary because many important elements had not been included in the existing education system.

"There are still areas which have not been effectively utilised...this is to avoid churning out students with poor character.

comment:

Yes, that goes without saying. Our education system must be dynamic and not static.

Sad to say that we are now experiencing having students who are timid and no character at all particularly among Malay students from rural areas who are lacking in exposure.

The Ministry of Education must look into this matter seriously to ensure that these rural Malay students are employable!! They are still suffering from inferiority complex. This is true when they go for interview, they fail to express themselves confidently. I don't blame them totally because our education system does not cater them to develop their personality.

INDIGO said...

Langitbiru,

Slipper Garland
(for you info: BN wins P94)

After much speculation over the identity of the MIC member who had called for the portrait of Tun Dr Mahathir Mohamad to be garlanded with slippers, it is now revealed that the person was none other than MIC’s Paya Besar division deputy chairman Peter Sugumaran.

And after his initial bluster, all he wants now is to say sorry to the former prime minister.

“What I want to say is, Dr Mahathir, I am sorry for demeaning you,” he told Malay Mail in a telephone interview yesterday.


Sugumaran admitted that the decision was a bad call on his part and expressed remorse over the incident. “In the heat of the moment, I didn’t know what I was talking about,” he said.

“The words just came out of my mouth. I didn’t plan it when I went onstage to say my piece,” said the retired Tenaga Nasional Berhad employee.
(Malay Mail; September 2009)


nota:

so my hopes goes for you guys went out of the window. no tears, please

INDIGO said...

Scribe,
Salaams

Dengan Izin.

‘Slipper Pete’ a relieved man
Frankie D'Cruz
Friday, September 18th, 2009 08:09:00

“SLIPPER MAN” Peter Sugumaran (pic) is relieved that former Prime Minister Tun Dr Mahathir Mohamad is neither angry nor sad over his “slipper garland” insult during the recent MIC party assembly.

Sugumaran, 56, the deputy chief of Paya Besar MIC division in Kuantan, told Malay Mail: “Tun’s humility makes me feel so small. If only I can meet him personally to extend my apologies.”

Terima Kasih Melayu Perkasa

ps. Langitbiru, anda ceramah agama apa?

pakbelalang said...

langit biru,

Saya marah kat Hisham pasal tak pasal-pasal saya kena bayar yuran untuk menjaga security dikawasan perumahan tempat saya tinggal. Saya dah pencen dan terpaksa tambah belaja RM1000 setahun untuk menjaga keselamatan kawasan perumahan rumah saya.

Apa dah jadi kepada keselamatan awam? Apa yang Hisham dah buat? F**k all!!

langitbiru said...

Salam INDIGO,

Terimakasih jawab pertanyaan saya kpd Dato' AKJ.

Tak tahu, tak pasti, kena bertanya kalau tak sesat jalan. Tak berceramah, tapi bertanya.

"Third force" kata Musa Hassan tu sapa dia? Nak tahu jugak, sebab isu keselamatan.

Anak TUn DrM terlibat dgn syarikat arak di Filipina tu betul ke?

Betul ke semua MP-MP UMNO hari ni tak seorang pun pernah togok arak?

Depa ni agama apa?

Anonymous said...

funny but not so laughable stories;

1) bila ada org sanggup membazir duit rakyat membayar berjuta2 dolar utk berjumpa dgn Presiden US (pelobi yahudi)dari dulu sampai skrg.

2) tv1,2,3,9 menggunakan wajah ibrahim ali, ezam dan dr m kempen utk BN. setiapkali muncul watak2 ini di tv, rakyat lagi tekad nak undi PR.

3) skrg ni org dok sebut salam 1Apco dari 1Malaysia.

Tok, dari semalam saya dok tunggu berita kalau2 ibrahim ali dah kalung 1 selipar kat tony blair. ckp berdegar2, habuk pun tarak. Nak tunjuk berani tak bertempat! Yang funny nya, ada jugak org yg percaya ckp raja katak ni. Kalau negara diserang musuh, dia dulu melompat cabooot....lari.

rakyat dah bijak

INDIGO said...

Betul lah kat Mawar:

Fed Up belawak dan munafik, dan saperti katanya Fed Up sendiri: bodoh.

INDIGO said...

Langitbiru,

Pertanyaan-pertanyaan yang cukup BERNAS!

Carry on, sir
and best wishes.

Salam Hormat.

saji said...

Sdr pakbelalang

Saya marah kat Hisham pasal tak pasal-pasal saya kena bayar yuran untuk menjaga security dikawasan perumahan tempat saya tinggal. Saya dah pencen dan terpaksa tambah belaja RM1000 setahun untuk menjaga keselamatan kawasan perumahan rumah saya.

Pemilik syarikat security di negara ini merupakan 'alat' golongan kapitalis meraih keuntungan diri dan kumpulan dengan apa jua cara. Lesennya dikeluarkan oleh Kementerian Hisham. Hisham pulak golongan kapitalis. Jangan marah ye, saya cuma melawak.

About Me

My photo
I was born in 1947 in Kedah. I came from a rice farming family. I have been a journalist since 1969. I am the Editor-in-Chief of magazine publishing company, Berita Publishing Sdn Bhd. I was Group Editor NST Sdn Bhd and Group Editor-in-Chief of NSTP Bhd between 1988 and 2000. I write fortnightly column “Other Thots” in the Malaysian Business magazine, Kunta Kinte Original in Berita Harian and A Kadir Jasin Bercerita in Dewan Masyarakat. Books: Biar Putih Tulang (1998), Other Thots – Opinions & Observations 1992-2001 (2001), The Wings of an Eagle (2003), Mencari Dugalia Huso (2006), Damned That Thots (2006), Blogger (2006), PRU 2008-Rakyat Sahut Cabaran (2008), Komedi & Tragedi-Latest in Contemporary Malaysian Politics (2009) and Membangun Bangsa dengan Pena (2009).