Saturday, April 02, 2011

Don't Allow Penile Rating To Bear Us Down

­­­A Kadir Jasin

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EARTHQUAKES and tsunamis may have spared us the misery. Our economy is doing reasonably well although inflation is rising and our people are up to the neck in debts.

Crime is still a cause for concern although Home Ministry and the police keep telling us that crime rates are falling.

So while Home Minister is being escorted by risen-wailing police outsiders through the City’s logjam, the scared residents barricade themselves behind barbwires and makeshift gates.

Putting my favourite teh si kosong and roti canai on the plus list, Malaysia is still a good place to be. Never mind that some sick-in-the-head people are trying hard to turn our political scene into a cesspool.

But please take note. I say Malaysia is still a good place to be still. It means that I may not be so in the future unless we take good governance seriously.

I have lived long enough to tolerate these discomforts, but when some smart Alec researchers and census takers slotted Malaysia at lowly 106 in the global ranking of the size of manhood, I am perturbed.

I would not dare speculate that the Malaysian womenfolk are disturbed by the findings.

According to media reports, which quoted various national medical, governmental, academic and sexology institutions, men from the Democratic Republic of Congo are the most endowed.

They claimed that Congolese men came out top with the manhood averaging 7.1 inches or 18cm in length. That’s more than half the length of the ruler that my “cruel” teachers used to knock my head and knuckles with.

Second came the Ecuadorian men with 6.9 inches (17.5cm), Ghanaian 6.8 inches (17.3cm), Colombian with 6.7 inches (17cm) and Venezuelan men with 6.7 inches or 17cm.

At number 7 is Lebanon, followed by Jamaica at number 12, Brazil at number 15, France at number 17, Czech Republic at number 22, the Netherlands at number 27, Italy at number 31.

Egypt was placed at number 33, Denmark at number 42, Mexico at number 49, Morocco at number 51, Sweden at number 58, Greece at number 61, Chile at number 64, Germany at number 68, Norway at number 72.

United Kingdom was at number 82, Spain at number 85, Australia at number 94, USA at number 98, Ireland at number 99, Romania at number 101.

It seems that the average length of the manhood of Malaysian men is pretty mediocre that no reports mentioned how long it is.

Then again what’s the point of having a massive manhood if we cannot apprehend a couple of acid throwers who are now terrorising school children and teachers in Bangsar and Little India?

But we can take some consolation in the fact that we beat the Japanese who were positioned 110, the Chinese (112), Indians (116), Thais (117) and South Koreans (119). The damnation is we lost to Indonesia who came out 104.

We never know how well we stand up to the Singaporeans. Despite their huge economic success and constantly high global rating in many areas, the standing of their manhood appears to have escaped attention. The reports make no mention of Singapore.

I hope our less than complimentary manhood ranking will not cause mass hysteria. But for those who are unhappy with the size and length of their manhood, I am indifferent if they resort to penile enlargement treatment. They can look it up in the Internet.

But for most, I suggest that they stick to Tongkat Ali and believe in the edict that while size may boost one’s ego, what counts is prestasi (performance).

Most of all, we should never ever allow this disappointing penile ranking to plunge us into mass hysteria that could lead to a more damaging consequence namely being afflicted with the “koro syndrome”.

In a simple non-medical term, koro is an affliction whereby the testicles shrank and disappeared from the scrota. When this happens, the sufferers are usually unable to engage in sexual activities.

I had written extensively about the “koro syndrome” in the posting dated June 17, 2008 entitled Would Koro Victims Like To Speak Up?

 So, do not allow our mediocre penile rating to bear us down. It may not even be authoritative. Let’s try to make every bit of it work. Have a pleasant weekend.


Anonymous said...

There was a study made by a university professor in Singapore in the late 1990s, the average Malay male reproductive organ is longer than the Chinese and Indians in Singapore. Melayu, Malaysia Boleh!What more to be said.

mekyam said...

salam, tok scribe!

speaking of penile length, may i share in the spirit of light-heartedness some factoids a doctor friend of mine put up on his FB:

- It takes your food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach.
- One human hair can support 6.6 pounds.
- The average man's penis is two times the length of his thumb.
- Human thighbones are stronger than concrete.
- A woman's heart beats faster than a man's.
- There are about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet.
- Women blink twice as often as men.
- The average person's skin weighs twice as much as the brain.
- Your body uses 300 muscles to balance itself when you are standing still.
- If saliva cannot dissolve something, you cannot taste it.
will be finished reading this by now.

are still busy checking their thumbs.

happy fools day, tok scribe and fellow visitors! :D

Anakbukitgantang said...

Good Lord. Datul= are you serious??
It seems the pemile rating is MORE inportant than the economic rating

Funny enough, Singapore excape the errrr ex rated rating

I can bet that Singapore is sooooo close to the Report that the police -city -state escape unscath

Anonymous said...

Dear Datuk,

April Fool was yesterday ... :-)


Anonymous said...

Salam Dato’ A Kadir

Don’t write like that la Dato’. It will make uneasy, especially to gentlemen in our country. Malaysia is a multiracial country and there will be a vast difference between each ethnic group. I will try to participate in this forum, talking about scientific evidence.

If you look at the psycho-sexology book, it says that size doesn’t matter. The more important is the satisfaction of both parties and ‘duration matter’. To Malaysian gentleman, the duration does matter and probably needs to be emphasized and improved. Sawo Matang standard practice for IVC lately is within 30 to 40 minutes, not including foreplay. Occasionally, it can go up to one hour.

There are several tricks that someone has to learn to be the master. And nowadays, we have multiple technique, exercises and medications to prolong, strengthened and prevent premature ejaculation. And don’t forget about foods and ingredients, which can increase the sperm count and increase the testosterone level which leads to increase libido.

Drugs such as the serotonin reuptake inhibitors and the PDE5 inhibitors were proven scientifically to be effective in treating premature ejaculation and impotence. For those who want to try, make sure go for a stress test with a normal result first. Then only can try try la. TQ.


Tengku Jalili said...

Are you serious or have you lost your marbles? I have just lost ll confidence in our IGP and now this!

Anonymous said...

Salam DAKJ dan Para Komentar semua,

Awww, the topic this time is about Mr Dick? Mmmm... better be at #106 rather than nothing.

When we talk about Mr Dick, surely we can't miss to discuss about Mr Balls as well as both of them are very much closely related to each other.

Well, there's no point to talk about the size of Mr Dick yet we have small size of Mr Balls.

Furthermore, the PRU is just around the corner so presumably most of our MP's and ADUN's may have shrink their Mr Balls to the minimum when our may PM announce it soon (if PM hv the Mr Balls).

I just wish our PDRM also have a big of Mr Balls, its out of the topic somehow or rather, but from my experience, our traffic police just only work in the daylight but not at night.

There's one Nasi Kandar eateries here in Alor Setar (in front of Hospital lama). Yasmin Restaurant patrons parked their car in front of the restaurant and obviously blocked 2 lanes of the main road (which left us the road user only one lane to be used) as if the road belongs to their grandfather. Its dangerous and might cause an accident, but no actions taken to this offenders (the zero minded patrons of this restaurant).

Where's the traffic police? Playing with their Mr Balls or Mr Dick in the evening?

I just hope (.. just hope) that our Mr Home Minister have a Big Balls (and Mr dick as well) to instruct the Police to work 24/7 not only fighting the crime but also the traffic offenders as they are also committing the crime of obstructing the road and other traffic wrongdoings.

For those, perhaps Mr Policemen who have time to read DAKJ blog particularly who's working in Alor Setar, please take the stern action of these offenders. Do you job that has been entrusted to you without prejudice or any favour in return.

Let's "CEPAT & BETUL" be a slogan that uphold the Spirit of Law rather then just a hearsay.

1280-K Taman Malik


Tok Kadiaq

From what i know, width rather than length is a more important factor of sexual stimulation.

Ladies, any comment?


ab said...

Salam Dato,

Nak tergelak saya baca tulisan dato ni, font `report' tu pun kecik kecik juga!

Hahaha...depa check kote tu masa kote tu tidoq ka masa kote tu tegak?.

Ada depa masuk kira umur sample depa tu?

Kebetulan, kalau lah video politician-pornstar yang sedang `top rated' la ni disiarkan kepada umum, minta tolong SEMAK KOTE DIA PUNYA SAIZ..bole tak ni?

Nanti dipolitikan pulak lagi perihal kote ni... la ni dah masuk tahun ke 3 dok cerita hai pungkoq siang malam!..dah lemas dan mual serta menyampah sungguh dah..

Kadang kadang terfikir juga tentang kepentingan siasatan macam ni... macam nak digunakan untuk promosi juai ubat tertentu saja ni...

Abu Bakar Ab Rahman

Anonymous said...

Merujuk kepada artikel DAKJ "Media dan Tuduhan Salah Laku Seks Pembesar" bertarikh 26hb March 2011, nampaknya journalist MSM dewasa ini perlu ulang semula masuk kelas belajar dengan DAKJ.

Coming back to the issue at hand.

I had just learn from many friends and relatives that more and more clerical staffs are going for second jobs to match their stagnation of income with the exponential increase in inflation.

Never mind the size ratings, it seems Malaysian are spending less and less "quality time" with their better half due to lessen spending power of our Malaysian Ringgit.

It used to be the argument of size vs how best you use it.

I dare not, but anybody out there bold enough to say that we are losing on both fence of size and having actual time to actually doing it?

Fed Up

samurai melayu said...


But for most, I suggest that they stick to Tongkat Ali and believe in the edict that while size may boost one’s ego, what counts is prestasi (performance)...

YES, YES..and we are making a trip up the Highlands soon for our new stock..but alas, your suggestion may send signals to others to travel up there too and that may not be 'economical' for us on the next trip when demand exceeds supply..

mekyam said...
are still busy checking their thumbs.
The wife did not stop reading till the end.

Thanks for the fool's day tips..


Have a nice weekend.

Ps. May we suggest diabetics experiencing 'K.O' to take their daily coffee with T.A( CH ORI. Brewed)..Performance 'O.K' than B4 lah... he he

Anonymous said...


Ha ha ha memang lucu ini walaupun remeh .
Remeh olih kerana ada banyak lagi perkara penting yang belum diutamakan diMalaysia...misalnya kefasihan anak anak kita dalam Bahasa antarabangsa iaitu Inggeris...hari ini banyak anak muda kita memang sudah kalah diperingkat antarabangsa/dunia kerja, dalam bahasa ini.
Dalam arena sukan pun selain daripada sepak takraw dan bola tangkis..hmm..ini pun kebanyakannya jaguh kampung saja.adoi
Semalam saya menuntun perlawanan akhir kriket antarabangsa ICC yg berlangsun diMumbai India..selepas hampir 2 bulan bertanding,negara India muncul juara DUNIA. Ini kali kedua mereka jaguh dunia..yang pertama di London tahun 1983.
Permainan kriket ini kebanyakan negara yang mahir hari ini pada suatu masa dijajah British,,sekarang dibawah Kommenwal tetapi dimanakah negara kita MALAYSIA.
Antara negara yang unggul selain INdia ialah Australia, Newzealand,South Afrika, West Indies,Kenya,Pakistan, SriLanka, Bangladesh dll.
Kenapa kita tak dapat bermain game yang " HIgh Class" ini.
Memang mendukacitakan datuk !!??
Yang juga menghairankan ialah media kebangsaan termasuk tv dan suratkhabar jarang menunjuk cukup permainan handal ini supaya anak anak kita boleh belajar untuk masa depan.
Hari ini kesemua media antarbangsa dunia separti CNN,ALJAZERA,BBC termasuk CCTV CHINA menunjukan aksi aksi perlawanan akhir India SriLanka yang dituntuni 2 BIlliion peminat didunia besar ini.
Memang menakjubkan datuk.

Badrul Hisham

Anonymous said...

"It seems that the average length of the manhood of Malaysian men is pretty mediocre that no reports mentioned how long it is".

Jom Dato', buat research untuk Malaysia.

TEMPAT : CARCOSA SERI NEGARA....tempat paling selamat, kalis 'peluru polis dan politik'

Penerbit, Bendahari PERKASA

Pengarah, Si Thamby Melaka


Mana-mana PutraUMNO buat research ni dapat PhD!!!!


Anonymous said...

Is this Dato Kadir writting, I can't be$ieve my eye Hiiii anyway amazing one

Juru ukur Bahan

samurai melayu said...


Salam kasih sayang Sdr. Badrul Hisham,

Tahun2 60an dan awal 70an permainan kriket adalah antara sukan tahunan yang dianjurkan oleh MSSS(Majlis Sukan Sekolah2 Selangor) dan antara sekolah2 yang hebat dalam sukan ini diLembah Klang adalah Kajang High School, ACS Klang, VI KL, RMC Sg Besi, Aminuddin Baki(AB) Kg. Pandan, St. Johns KL dan MBS KL.

Majoriti pelajar2 yang berminat adalah dari kaum India..hanya sekolah AB dan RMC yang majoritinya kaum Melayu.

It is a game of disciplines and good manners..white attire from top to bottom. If we are the home team, everyone involved have to come to school early to welcome the visiting team and ushered them to the breakfast table..then came the match and every sixer hit got a standing ovation. The batsman gracefully acknowledged with his cap off and/or bowed. At the end of the game the losing team stood in a row and clapped the winners off the briefly explained the atmosphere then.
How we missed those cricket matches especially so when we were the school's team vice Capt and was amongst the most feared bowlers in the competition to the extent the cricket masters from VI and RMC requested us to join them in Form 4..

Congrats to the Indian team winning the ICC World Cup!

Ps. Pelajar kini hanya bertumpu pada berapa A's dalam mata pelajaran saja. Bukan salah ibu mengandung tapi sistem pembelajaran negara..lemah semangat!

affendi hussain said...

loqlaq cheghita peliaq..

at least something Ketuanan Melayu can be proud of.. long live the @#$%..! lagi ada mau mengaku pendatang ka? hehehe...


Anonymous said...

Dato & Sdr Samurai Melayu

Terima kasih atas sekata dua sdr samurai.
Pada saya,penjelasan sdr cukup meng-kagum-kan.
Sekiranya sdr samurai serta kuncu kunchu sdr pada masa gemmilang itu dapat membuat sesuatu untuk meningkatkan prestasi kesukanan kriket di tanah air kami supaya pada satu masa depan kita juga bolih bertepuk dada dengan megah seperti rakan rakan kita diINdia sekarang.

ps. Kpd Dato - mungkin kah dato sebagai seorang bekas Group Editor diNST(termasuk akhar Inggeris NST) membuat sesuatu supaya Bahasa Inggeris mendapat tumpuan sepentingnya supaya negara yang dicintai kita tak tertinggal dari arus dynamic dunia.

Badrul Hisham

Anonymous said...


What's the point if you have big d**k, big ego but small brains...?

Keturunan Jebat

Anonymous said...

Yang Berbahagia Datuk,

Saya nak cadangkan supaya Datuk lebeh menulis article berkaitan macam mana nak betulkan mentaliti orang Melayu supaya berubah kepada yang lebeh baik lagi kehidupan bangsa Melayu.

Banyak sangat cakap pasal politik. Pi mai pi mai tang tu juga.

Melayu memang suka cakap pasal politik tapi akhirnya tak ada apa faedahnya. Berpecah belah. Yang untung bangsa lain. Memang mereka suka Melayu khayal dengan politik. Bangsa lain terus sibuk dengan cari nafkah hidup untuk keluarga mereka tapi Melayu asyik dengan politik tak habis-habis. Bangsa lain memang dah tetap hati takkan undi BN sebab mereka dah nampak bagaimana berkesannya apabila Melayu berpecah belah. Malangnya Melayu tak sedar diri lagi. Bercakaran sama sendiri. Kan bodoh namanya !!!

-concerned Malay-

About Me

My photo
I was born in 1947 in Kedah. I came from a rice farming family. I have been a journalist since 1969. I am the Editor-in-Chief of magazine publishing company, Berita Publishing Sdn Bhd. I was Group Editor NST Sdn Bhd and Group Editor-in-Chief of NSTP Bhd between 1988 and 2000. I write fortnightly column “Other Thots” in the Malaysian Business magazine, Kunta Kinte Original in Berita Harian and A Kadir Jasin Bercerita in Dewan Masyarakat. Books: Biar Putih Tulang (1998), Other Thots – Opinions & Observations 1992-2001 (2001), The Wings of an Eagle (2003), Mencari Dugalia Huso (2006), Damned That Thots (2006), Blogger (2006), PRU 2008-Rakyat Sahut Cabaran (2008), Komedi & Tragedi-Latest in Contemporary Malaysian Politics (2009) and Membangun Bangsa dengan Pena (2009).