Don't Allow Penile Rating To Bear Us Down

­­­A Kadir Jasin

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EARTHQUAKES and tsunamis may have spared us the misery. Our economy is doing reasonably well although inflation is rising and our people are up to the neck in debts.

Crime is still a cause for concern although Home Ministry and the police keep telling us that crime rates are falling.

So while Home Minister is being escorted by risen-wailing police outsiders through the City’s logjam, the scared residents barricade themselves behind barbwires and makeshift gates.

Putting my favourite teh si kosong and roti canai on the plus list, Malaysia is still a good place to be. Never mind that some sick-in-the-head people are trying hard to turn our political scene into a cesspool.

But please take note. I say Malaysia is still a good place to be still. It means that I may not be so in the future unless we take good governance seriously.

I have lived long enough to tolerate these discomforts, but when some smart Alec researchers and census takers slotted Malaysia at lowly 106 in the global ranking of the size of manhood, I am perturbed.

I would not dare speculate that the Malaysian womenfolk are disturbed by the findings.

According to media reports, which quoted various national medical, governmental, academic and sexology institutions, men from the Democratic Republic of Congo are the most endowed.

They claimed that Congolese men came out top with the manhood averaging 7.1 inches or 18cm in length. That’s more than half the length of the ruler that my “cruel” teachers used to knock my head and knuckles with.

Second came the Ecuadorian men with 6.9 inches (17.5cm), Ghanaian 6.8 inches (17.3cm), Colombian with 6.7 inches (17cm) and Venezuelan men with 6.7 inches or 17cm.

At number 7 is Lebanon, followed by Jamaica at number 12, Brazil at number 15, France at number 17, Czech Republic at number 22, the Netherlands at number 27, Italy at number 31.

Egypt was placed at number 33, Denmark at number 42, Mexico at number 49, Morocco at number 51, Sweden at number 58, Greece at number 61, Chile at number 64, Germany at number 68, Norway at number 72.

United Kingdom was at number 82, Spain at number 85, Australia at number 94, USA at number 98, Ireland at number 99, Romania at number 101.

It seems that the average length of the manhood of Malaysian men is pretty mediocre that no reports mentioned how long it is.

Then again what’s the point of having a massive manhood if we cannot apprehend a couple of acid throwers who are now terrorising school children and teachers in Bangsar and Little India?

But we can take some consolation in the fact that we beat the Japanese who were positioned 110, the Chinese (112), Indians (116), Thais (117) and South Koreans (119). The damnation is we lost to Indonesia who came out 104.

We never know how well we stand up to the Singaporeans. Despite their huge economic success and constantly high global rating in many areas, the standing of their manhood appears to have escaped attention. The reports make no mention of Singapore.

I hope our less than complimentary manhood ranking will not cause mass hysteria. But for those who are unhappy with the size and length of their manhood, I am indifferent if they resort to penile enlargement treatment. They can look it up in the Internet.

But for most, I suggest that they stick to Tongkat Ali and believe in the edict that while size may boost one’s ego, what counts is prestasi (performance).

Most of all, we should never ever allow this disappointing penile ranking to plunge us into mass hysteria that could lead to a more damaging consequence namely being afflicted with the “koro syndrome”.

In a simple non-medical term, koro is an affliction whereby the testicles shrank and disappeared from the scrota. When this happens, the sufferers are usually unable to engage in sexual activities.

I had written extensively about the “koro syndrome” in the posting dated June 17, 2008 entitled “Would Koro Victims Like To Speak Up?”

 So, do not allow our mediocre penile rating to bear us down. It may not even be authoritative. Let’s try to make every bit of it work. Have a pleasant weekend.